California Beach- Late summer

After all of our grand adventures in Asia, we came back and stayed with Jonathan's parents in California and had even more grand adventures, only these ones were in English.

One day we went down to LA. Now, I've driven through the city a couple of times, but never gotten out of the car, so this was exciting stuff. We first went to the fabric district (I'm not sure if that's the right name for it...foreigner that I am, but that's what I'll call it for this post). I have a number of sewing projects I want to do (I've only done one so far...), and word on the street was, this was the place to get fabric. So, that was our first stop.

We went into one shop that had  huge cardboard boxes in rows with heaps of material in them. You literally had to dig through the fabric to see if there was anything you wanted. There was tons of cool things, but I was looking for a couple of specific weaves of fabric and so it was hard for me since nothing had tags on them. You pay by weight of fabric, like a dollar a pound or something, so it was a great deal if you do find fabric. I found some great things for my projects (which I bought) and even more great things that I have no idea what I would do with them, but they were cool colors/patterns/texture. It was fun, although a little overwhelming, to walk around. Then we went to another shop which was a more traditional looking store, bolts of fabric, all marked and priced. There I found another great green fabric that was 50% off, and therefore entirely affordable.

After the fabric district, we headed to the beach.

Jonathan, Peter and Beccah.

We had been to the beach a couple of times on our trip through Asia, but it was nice to go to a beach where we didn't get any extra attention. Peter loved the waves, and although the water was much colder than our nice Asia Pacific water, he still liked to put his feet in and run around the shallow areas. 

Peter loves the little waves

Don't mind the saggy shorts.
The only swim shorts he had were the ones he wore last year.

Practicing his Chinese :), or just drawing.

Robin and Peter, making sand things

Then the fog started to roll in. It was gorgeous, but later is got quite chilly.

Peter's first interaction with a little sand crab. Beccah caught them and he loved watching them.

Finding treasures

Jonathan, Robin and Peter by the Santa Monica Pier.

We played in the sand and water, ate lunch, and did plenty of people watching. There were so many families all playing in the water and in the sand. Everyone was just doing their own thing and not paying attention to us. It was a nice break. Also, at one point, a blanket a few feet from us had been left as the owners were playing somewhere and seagulls swarmed it. There were so many of them, attacking the chips, sandwiches and anything else they could find. Some people tried to scare them away, but the birds came back time and again. They were persistent little birds. 

The Birds.

 So, one of the main reasons we went to the Santa Monica beach was to meet up with my friend Dan, his lovely wife and their two adorable girls. Dan was part of a good group of friends I had in one of my last years at college. We all keep in touch a little bit. We met up with Dan and his family at this beach before we left for China, and it was a fun to see them again before we headed towards Utah. Their youngest was born while we were in China, so we got to meet her for the first time, she is adorable. Their oldest has tons of energy and played with Peter a little bit. Tragically I only got a couple of pictures of them, and the ones I got aren't the best. But, here are the kids:

Bright sun, playing with sand toys

Future dolphin riders.

It was great fun to hang out with the Millers at the beach. They are one a family I wish we lived closer to because we always love to see them, even if it only happens once a year. Once the sun went down and it was too cold to be by the water, we headed to the pier and walked around. I am always amazed how cold the beach gets as soon as the sun drops. I never have warm enough clothes, but walking around helps. While we were at the pier, Jonathan's friend John Watson met up with us. They have been friends since they were little kids and we love to see John Watson. His wife was working, so we didn't get to see her on the beach. We all had a good time catching up, but soon it was time to go, so kids could get to sleep and we could get warm.

The other main reason we were in LA this day was to pick up Jonathan's sister Christina from the airport. She spent the summer in Israel doing a dig. This was her third dig (I think), but for us, her scariest with all the bombing going on there. The Iron Dome shot down the missiles that got close, but let's be honest, that's not totally comforting. We were anxious to have her home. She had a layover in Sweden and was supposed to get in to LA around 4pm (or so, the details are hazy now)....but as flights are apt to delays, her's was. She didn't get in until about midnight. So, to kill time after the beach, we went to a little diner and got some dinner. Then we got to the airport and did laps around the terminals to try to get Peter to sleep. He was no happy about not being in bed, but I think he finally fell asleep when we were headed home. Christina finally arrived and we got to go home. 

It was a great day in LA, busy, long, but wonderful. 

Reverse Culture Shock Part 2

Alright, welcome back to part 2. Here are the other things we had to get used to after we got back "home."

7) Driving: There were a number of things we noticed about cars and bikes in America that I never paid attention to before. First, people use cars way more often than they need to. Now, I recognize that there are many, many places in America that are not conducive to walking. I grew up in those places. Places where it is at least a 10 minute drive to get to the nearest grocery store and there isn't any public transportation. I get it. You guys are off the hook. But, right now, I live in a college town. The grocery store is about 6 blocks from my house, the public library is about 7 blocks, the university is about 7 blocks away, and our church used to be 4 blocks (they changed our meeting house location and now we are about 11 blocks away). And so many people drive! When our church was 4 blocks away, most of our congregation drove their cars....in August, when it was really quite pleasant outside. It blew my mind. The distance to church is about the distance it took me to walk to the bus stop from our second apartment in Nanjing, and these people were driving their cars. I don't even get it. I have the same feelings about driving to school. I see so many university students who drive about 5 blocks, or less, to get to school. Then they complain about how it is so hard to find parking! Well, I've got a genius solution for you. Use your feet! You get exercise, you don't have to put more gas in your car, and you don't have to hope you find a parking spot. The amount of cars on the roads here is insane, and people don't walk. Vent over.

7a) Driving- Learning to Drive Again: In China, we didn't drive. Sometimes we rode in cars with people, but even that was rare. We mostly walked, or took the bus/subway if we were going a longer distance. So, I came back and started driving again, and it wasn't hard to get used to driving again. Except for one thing. I drove a lot slower than I used to. I was under the speed limit frequently, and Jonathan would point it out always. I was usually 5-10 under the limit. But it didn't feel slow to me. It felt normal, for no reason than being out of practice of driving. We've been back over three months now, and I'm back to normal driving, most of the time. But, it took a month or two to get there. Also, sometimes I really miss having a good public transport system. I often missed my car in China, but I now miss having someone else drive for me. Go figure.

Peter was an expert metro/bus rider.

7b) Driving- Bikes: The last thing driving related is how unfriendly the United States is for bikers (as in pedal bikes, not scooters/motorcycles). When we first got to China, the traffic terrified me, and when Jonathan told me he was getting a bike I was sure he'd be dead in a week. The Chinese aren't any worse of drivers, in fact, I think they are better drivers than we are, but it feels a lot crazier because they squeeze into places they shouldn't fit and they are pretty aggressive drivers. But, the bikes/scooters have their own lane in many parts of the city, and Jonathan never had any problems. He always felt safe. Now, we come back here and he feels a lot less safe riding a bike around the city. We still ride (before it got so cold, we rode to church, and that was lovely), but I feel less safe with Jonathan on his bike here than I eventually did in China. Even though the traffic seemed crazy, they had their own order. People here seem to pay attention less and not know their cars as well. Also, very few roads have bike lanes, and the ones that do have no partition between the road and the bike lane.

8) Water: Maybe this should have gone along with the food/cleanliness sections, but here it is in its very own section. You don't really realize how awesome it is to be in America and be able to drink water out of any faucet in your home and not worry about getting sick until you have lived in a place where that doesn't happen. In China, all water must be boiled/filtered before drinking it or you could get sick. Also there are no drinking fountains anywhere. So, it was a really nice thing to come back and just turn on the tap and drink some water. People complain about water in different areas tasting not so awesome, but hey, at least you can drink it and not worry about having the runs tomorrow. It was great to come back and not have to worry so much about Peter drinking his bath water...which he loves to do. We still try to get him not to do it, but it doesn't stress me out as much. We didn't have to really adjust to this, but it was a nicety that I was happy to have back.

9) Possessions: Something that still blows my mind is the sheer amount of things people have (us included). We went to China with 3 suitcases, one for each person because we didn't have any other option. We knew what whatever we packed, we would have to transport. so we packed light. We got by fine with few clothes and not lots of extras. Sometimes I really missed having other shoes or my green jacket or other things, but we were fine. We didn't bring any kitchen things and we were stingy in what we bought because we knew we'd be leaving it behind in a year. We acquired the necessities and made do. We got used to having just a few things. So, when we came back and unpacked everything in storage it was crazy how many clothes, shoes, towels, blankets, plates, cups, pans and everything else we had. I've slowly been downsizing because I don't need everything I have and I know it is likely we will move within the next 6 months or so, and I'd rather not pack up a bunch of things we don't need. Also, after living in a small apartment, the houses in America are huge! People here have rooms in their house that are rarely used (dining rooms), or extra bedrooms that are only used on holiday. It is strange to see such big houses in which the space is not needed. China (in the cities, which is where we lived) builds apartments, not houses. Also since being home, it is harder for me to not get frustrated with people at times who complain about money being tight or how life is hard, because I think back to people I knew in China and what life was like there. People say money is tight and they go out to eat once a week, or buy new clothes/technology/anything. People say that they don't have money, yet they have cell phones, computers, cars, and houses with more space than they need. They have enough food to eat and clothes to wear. We have so much here, more than we realize. We are so incredibly fortunate here. Again, I know this isn't true for everyone. I know there are people that really don't have much money and they don't go out to eat or buy anything new, they live with one phone, and they budget incredibly well, but even then, just by being in America, we are so fortunate.

Peter and his life of fame.
The man holding him couldn't have been happier

10) Clothing: Another big difference is in the way people dress in China verses America. The Chinese, overall, dress much nicer. The men are usually in slacks and button up shirts. Women are in nice clothes and are pulled together. In America, I tend to see more casual dress but trendy. It was harder to see what the big trends were in China, but in America it is far easier to pick out. Also in America, I see way more skin than in China. There were lots of short skirts/shorts in China, but they were almost always layered with tights or leggings. Here there is much more exposed. The last big thing I noticed coming back was that in China, kids dress like kids. They wear sweat pants and colorful shirts. But in America, kids dress like little adults. Kids have very trendy outfits here and just look like small versions of older kids.

11) Weight: The last thing that took some time to get used to again is a more touchy subject for some. So, I ask that you don't get in a tiff because of this one. But, the last thing that we had to adjust to was fat people. The Chinese eat less junk food than we do, there aren't as many fast food places, and they walk a lot more than we do. In the grocery store in America the aisles of chips, cookies and candy is so much bigger than in China, and there isn't really a section for microwave/boxed meals that we have here. It was rare to see a Chinese who was overweight. There were fat kids, and lots of the babies have the fattest faces ever, but usually by middle school age, they had slimmed down. Even when you do see fat people, it is nothing compared to America. Chinese might be a little cushioned, but Americans take up two seats. That was something we had to get used to when we came back. Now, I'm not trying to say that everyone needs to be stick thin, so don't get that idea. It is okay to have curves. But, America, get into shape. Stop letting kids eat junk food and play video games. Stop watching so much tv. Cut fast food out of your life- it's not good for you. Stop drinking soda and go for a walk or take up a sport. Move your bodies and eat some vegetables.

I think one of the biggest things I've learned from living in China and then coming back to America is to be grateful. I am grateful for drinkable water, cars (even if we drive them too much), the amazing house I live in, being able to buy shampoo I like, carpet, that I know where to go to buy things, having a temple in the same city as I live in and being able to share the gospel with anyone I meet, and having family close by.

I also learned that just because we do something one way and someone else does it another way doesn't always mean one of us is right/wrong. We learned from China that consumerism isn't everything- and having stuff doesn't make you happy, that it's okay to take a little longer to get somewhere and walk there, and that it's good to dress nicer. Now I'm not perfect with the things I've learned. I still like to buy new things, but I try to give away when every I get something new. So, if I get some new clothes, I have to give away the same number of items that I bought. Sometimes I wear sweats all day, but I don't leave the house. Sometimes I take for granted our nearby temple and I don't make it a priority. But, I'm working on it.

We came home different people because we learned more about ourselves and what we wanted from life. I think everyone should live abroad or travel, because you learn things when you are around people much different from you. It rocks your comfort zone, but it is usually a good thing in the long run.

Thanks for reading my novel. I'm going to try in the month of December to catch up on things that have happened since we got back to America...it's a long list, but if I don't write it I'll forget it.

Reverse Culture Shock: Part 1

Baby in a box...he's the reason most of you read this.

When we landed in China we (I) were (was) hit with a huge wave of culture shock. I was surprised how hard it was for me to adjust as I had traveled outside of the US before. But, I adapted and grew to love our new home. Similarly, we were hit by a much smaller wave of culture shock on the return home. Some of the things we knew we would have to adjust to, and some caught me off guard. I thought that returning home would be nothing but familiar, and although many things were familiar, many things also had a sense of strangeness to them that was hard to get used to again. Here is the list of things we remember having to adapt back to:

1) Shades: When we arrived in LA, we had to go through customs to enter the country. Since we had just traveled to 3 different countries coming home from China, we were accustomed to this process. But 2 things threw me off. First, we almost went into the line for foreigners...haha. Then we realized, "Wait, we are citizens in this country!" and switched directions. Then, once we were in the correct line, the strangest thing was looking around in our line and noticing that no one looked the same. When we had landed in Japan, there were only Japanese in the citizen line, and in Taiwan, only Taiwanese. But in America, there are so many people with different ethnic backgrounds in the American line. There were people who looked Japanese or Taiwanese. There were people with black skin, white skin and everything in between. It was such a big contrast to me to see that. We had been in a place (China) where everyone was predominately the same (similar) color skin and similar physical features, and it was really weird to see nothing be the majority anymore, but instead to see so many shades of skin.

2) Hair: On that same note, the first thing I noticed when I went to the store in America was the hair. In Asia, the majority of hair is black and straight. Some people dye their hair, but typically either with streaks of purple or blue or unnatural hair color, or it is bleached, but since they start with black hair, it doesn't look blond, just bleached. In America, hair is every shade you can imagine and so many different textures. There was white blond hair, like Peter's, there was black, brown, red, light brown, dark brown, reddish brown, brownish red. There was straight hair, wavy hair, big black hair, teeny curls and beach waves. Oh my goodness, there are so many different types of hair. It was amazing.

3) Reading: Driving home from the airport, I distinctly remember being happy that I could read all of the signs we drove past and that I knew what each store sold or did. Everywhere we'd been for the past year I either couldn't read the characters on the signs, or if they were written with letters I didn't know what the store sold. There were 4 stores I knew in China, Suguo (our grocery store), Metro (a German version of Costco), Decathlon (a French sporting goods store), and Ikea. There were a couple others here and there (Subway, McDonalds, KFC), but for the most part, those were the only signs I knew. But, then in America, Joann's- ahhh yes, I can get fabric there, Chili's- food, Michelin, hey tires!, JCPenny, Smith's, Kohls, Applebees, every single sign I could read! And every single sign I knew what its purpose was! I could see the sign and know if it was a grocery store, restaurant, mini-mart, hair salon, clothing store, church, bank, car store, or whatever. It was beautiful.

4) Children: We went to a church activity while we were in California with Jonathan's family, and I was blown away with the amount of children there. Most families had 2-4 kids, which isn't even a big family, but there were so many more kids than adults, which we had grown unaccustomed to. And, since there were so many kids, Peter got no attention. We walked in, got food, sat down and he got a smile or two, but nothing else. It was very strange to be so invisible after a year of constant attention and it was even stranger to be around so many kids...it was loud....so busy and so loud.

Peter and a friend stacking bricks

5) Food: This was something we knew would be an adjustment, as the foods in China and America are very different. What I didn't expect was that I was going to be sick trying to adjust back. For about the first 2 weeks back, I felt sick frequently after eating anything that was not fruit, vegetables or rice. I even took a pregnancy test because I had such a constant nauseous feeling. But, I wasn't pregnant, I just wasn't used to eating the types of foods I had grown up eating. Too much milk or dairy made me feel sick for about 2 months after coming home.

5a) Food- Grocery Shopping: Also, with food, my first time grocery shopping was really hard because I couldn't think of what I needed to buy. I didn't know what I would usually make for dinner. We were only gone for a year, but that was a year of completely different grocery shopping. In China I bought, yogurt, bread, eggs, vegetables, and rice. Those were my staples when shopping. I also went shopping about every other day since fridge space was limited and we ate lots of fresh veggies that had to be purchased frequently and used so they didn't go bad. China doesn't do canned or frozen food to the extent that we do in the States. Since we eat differently here, I have to shop differently here. I've since become very good at making lists, and need to have one to shop with now. Grocery stores were slightly overwhelming here because they are much bigger than the store I usually went to in China. That being said, not all Chinese grocery stores are small, but the closest one to our second place in Nanjing was a little neighborhood store that I was quite accustomed to by the time we went home. Last thing, some of the vegetables I grew accustomed to always buying in China are a lot more seasonal here, so I had to adjust back to less awesome produce here. But, I trust the meat here a lot more. We rarely bought meat in China because it was always in a bin that wasn't super cold and people would just grab what they wanted and sort through things. It never seemed super sanitary and we were wary of it. We still don't eat lots of meat here, but there are more options that I feel safe buying and cooking.

5b) Food- Eating Out: Another thing that was different and that we missed/had to adjust to, is that in America there aren't really cheap places to eat out. I know there is fast food, but honestly, it really isn't that cheap. And the cheap stuff is junk. Yeah, you can buy a 5 dollar pizza...but it's pretty disgusting, same goes for the dollar menus at any drive thru. In China, we frequented a noodle place that was run by a Muslin Chinese family. They made their noodles by hand and most dishes were noodles with some kind of vegetable and some meat. We could get two good sized meals there for about $4. And they were delicious. Any day I didn't feel like going to the grocery store and cooking, we would get some noodles. We had to wait about 5 minutes after ordering and we could eat there or take it to go. I miss the noodle places. There were also lots of cheap cart snacks that we would buy for about .50-$1. It was cheap and was enough food to keep us full for a couple of hours. Not all restaurants were so inexpensive, but there were enough around and we don't have anything to compare to that here.

6) Cleanliness: One thing that really stood out to us was how clean it is here compared to China. People frequently will litter and think nothing of it, and there were often patches of wet sidewalk that I would step over because you couldn't know for sure if it was rain or pee. Also, things are just in better condition here. There were sidewalks that were frightful with the stroller because of the holes/cracks, and in general, the sidewalks in America are lovely. And the overall quality of life here is just more sanitary. Also, the air. I never have to check to make sure the air quality isn't over 300 before we go out for the day. It's nice to have clean air.

Okay, I'm going to break this into two posts, because it is getting loooong. So, that's part one. Take a break from reading!

Peter says, Come back for Part 2!